i don even know whether its a dream. i came home frm chalet. evrythg somewhad looks normal? but the feelg is nort the same lur bah.


i wish i could hate him. in fact, i did. but i kno i cant. i oso dnoe whad exactly i mean, whad exactly i wan. she is strong. evryone told me, i needa be strong enuf to support her, yes. in front of them, i tried to hold back my tears, i tried to appear as if i don give a damn, i wna support her, i wna let her kno im mature enuf to understand evrythg, but i dnoe how to approach her. her burfdae is ruined. i tried to give her a surprise, yet nothg seemd to work.


i felt utterly disgustd by his actions. i felt so ashamd whenevr i stand along the corridor. i felt so disgustd, whenevr i walk past that place.


i felt like im on drugs. that day went shoppg with my sqdmates, they were playg around, foolg around, i didnt think bout that incident, i was real happy. then we settled down. guess evryone tired lur ba. no one playd. that incident flashd thru my mind, and there again, i emo. luckily i have such great sqdmates, despite being so exhaustd, they still do silly things to cheer me up. i managed to kip myself occupied at the chalet thus didnt think so much (:


like whad jy said, let the time wash evrythg away. how i hope evrythg was a dream.


thnx you all for the concern. im alright lur ^^