today made me realise so many things. made me realise i m such a bitch. made me realise how disgusting i m. made me realise how stupid i was. why cant i put myself in others' shoes? why cant i just let go of certain things? why cant i just have my own stand and stop being somebody else's dog? why cant i just follow my heart?

i admit. i m easily influenced by pple. but today vanessa and carolyn totally reminded me, how sad she will be. well, now to think of it, i realise how strong she is. if its me, i wouldnt have even attended school. i would have alrdy transferred sch. how i hope 09s38 will really be a happy family like how we are before. i hope we slowly make a difference.

just now as we were toking, vanessa was describing her sec4 class, and that really reminds me of 4LY. the best class. no political problems at all. yes, there were cliques, but the inter-clique bondings, the amount of fun and laughter we have as a whole class. AWWWWW. perhaps i take the fun and peacefulness in 4LY for granted. the sense of security when gng to school back in chung cheng. the feeling of looking forward to school and having lessons with 4LY, i wonder when can i have that feeling with s38, judging from the situation now.

sometimes, i detest gng school. sometimes, living in yor own bubble is a good thing afterall.